"Ruin my Life"

So, life for me has been so fast lately! I have been running back and forth from Lorena to Belton, to Temple, to Brenham and back! With gas prices the way they are this is not a good thing on my bank account=) Thankfully, I have been teaching swimming lessons to 5 kiddos while I am in Brenham. I have actually been learning a lot about myself and the Lord, through it. I have been learning more about trust in teaching swimming lessons. The same way these little kiddos have to trust that I will not let them drowned, we as Christians have to put all our trust in the Lord. When I make one swim out to me they are so scared but they know I am there to help them if they need it. The Lord does this with us everyday. He allows us to make choices and gives us the freedom to "swim to the side" on our own, but He is always there ready to pick us up if we start to lose sight of our goal. And when my little ones do a great job, they get their piece of candy. The same way we are rewarded and blessed when we are doing Christ's will for our lives. Well thats my simple analogy for the day!

This Jeff Johnson song has been so wonderful for me to listen to everyday. My friend Paige reminded me of it and it has helped me with my whole moving around schools. It's saying "Ruin my life, the plans that I have made." God stripped everything that I thought I had planned, and in making me only lean on Him, He gave me a wonderful, exciting, and new upcoming experience. I am very excited and know that in following His direction for my life, I am going to be oh so very blessed! I am moving to College Station on August 15th! Kelsey and I have an apartment and are very excited about decorating and living together! I am currently looking for a job in College Station, so if any of you know anything that would be great! Also, I looove babysitting, so if you know anyone with children in College Station feel free to give them my number or e-mail me at skfathauer@yahoo.com =))

Jeff Johnson

Ruin Me

Woe to me I am unclean A sinner found in Your presence I see you seated on Your throne Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You.

Now the plans that I have made Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life the plans I have madeRuin desires for my own selfish gain Destroy the idols that have taken Your place'Till its You alone I live for, You alone I live for. (repeat)

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty Holy is the Lord! Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty Holy is the Lord!

College Station bound =0

Ok! Its official! I am moving to COLLEGE STATION!! I found out yesterday that my best friend Kelsey needed a roomate, and I have been looking into going to CS, so I feel God calling me to move there! It seems that all the doors are opening in that direction! I am going to attend Blinn College and figure out what career path I will follow. I am debating on nursing at Blinn, Education 4-8th, or Psycology to be a Child Life Specialist. Please continue to pray for Gods direction in whatever way He leads me. Also pray for my ears that I hear Him clearly and follow what He has for me=) I am very excited and scared about this new change and I will miss UMHB and the wonderful friends that I have made very much! Who knows I may end up there after Blinn! I will also be taking Cake decorating at Hobby Lobby in CS! Just so you know! I am super stoked about that! I have just quit my amazing job at Scott and White hospital in Temple, and am going to miss my sweet babies there! I am looking for a job in CS, so please pray I find something! And if you know people who need babysitters in CS give them my name and number=)) Thanks for your prayers! I will post my new address etc when I get it=)

Prayer Requests....

So... I am pretty sure I have figured out what I am going to do. Im not quite ready to share it just because of work and other related things.... But I am praising God because I feel at peace about my decision. Please continue to pray for me in the journey ahead! I am scared out of my mind! I mainly came on here to ask prayer for all my kiddos at work! I work right now at Scott and White Hospital and I just wanted to pray for healing in all my precious kiddos! Especially Sinjin! He is in Dallas right now with a bone marrow transplant and is doing pretty well! Just pray for healing and for his mom right now! They are going through a lot of stress! His caringbridge page is http://www.caringbridge.com/ then type sinjinandrukates in the blank! Please give blood whenever you can and if you are called be put on the mone marrow transplant list! Who knows you could save someones life! After all Christ came and died a painful death on the cross, shouldnt we give a little bit of time and energy to help save a life? Ok done preaching=) Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!

What to do next?

So in the last few hours I went to having it all together, to totally scrambling in every aspect of my life. I was planning on going to UMHB and living with these two girls. We had not found a house but were searching for something. I have been on the phone with every appartment and every rental house for months now! Well, just as I thought I found something I began to realize the girls that I was planning on living with would not answer my call. I began to think something was up. I tried for three weeks to get ahold of one of my roomates. No answer. Getting more and more frusterated, the messages I began leaving would let her hear the tension and stress I was going through. People kept saying find someone else. There is no one else. All my friends have roomates and have had roomates since the beginning of the summer. Well needless to say they found a two bedroom house and had rented it. I must say I was very sad, angry, and mad in the beginning! But I soon realized maybe God's plan for me does not inclue UMHB. I have been praying asking God to show me where he wants me to be. Its very difficult since school starts in about four weeks. As of right now I have no clue where I will be going or what I will be doing! I feel like every plan, and everything I planned fell apart. Maybe that was the problem. I planned it. Last night I was very dissapointed as I read my devo. But God being the funny man He is, led me to the perfect passages. My devo was on Job. If you are not familiar with the story, Job had everything his land, livestock and family taken away from him and yet in the end he praised God. Wow! Talk about God directly speaking to me. God was wanting me to worship Him in the time, and instead I am feeling sorry for myself. God is taking me out of a situation He doesnt want me to be in and moving me. I should be so thankful!! And who knows his could be fun, starting over. I will do whatever His will is for me!! So... who knows where He will take me. I am having to surrender all that I have and go everyday just searching to get closer to Him, and let Him move me where I need to go! I am scared out of my mind, but I know if I keep my eyes on Him, the path He leads me will perfect!! I am praising His beautiful name in everything that happens!!!! Im ready for this wonderful adventure!! Well here goes....

Colombia

Well I am home from Colombia! It was an adventure to say the least! I am sorry I did not start this blog while I was in Colombia, but figured it was an easy way for people to keep track of me and any more adventure that I may encounter!

Day 1 Sunday
We left on Sunday June 21, 2008 for Colombia around 1:00. I was scared out of my mind. I must say we had a wonderful team who kept me feeling safe and very welcome. We arrived in Colombia around 8pm. As soon as we got off of the plane, It really set in that i was in a different country. It was so weird going through customs, and their airport was a lot smaller than the one in the u.s. We went out side and met up with our drivers, Patricia, her mother, and their friends. I felt very welcome into their country! We went to our hotel Zuetanna 93 for the night and got rested for the next day ahead of us. Sleeping was very difficult for me that night. I tossed and turned for hours and hours. I was so anxious for the day ahead. We ate a wonderful breakfast at the hotel and headed out around 8:30am for the Amparro. I was very eager and nervous to go to the boys orphanage. When we arrived everyone was so very nice! The boys gave us a tour of their orphanage and we ate some yummy bread that they had made themselves. Next, we all sat down and the team members shared with the boys our name and the reason for coming on the mission trip. I told them that I was there becuase the Lord had laid it on my heart to come, because I want to adopt in the future that it is my duty to start helping orphans as soon as I am able. I am not sure that I should have said this, because as soon as the group finished, i was swarmed with 7-17 year old boys asking me to take them home with me. I quickly said that I was way too young to adopt, but I would pray for them. They said since I was too young to adopt them, they would want to marry me. I quickly blushed up and said that I was too old to marry any of them. That turned the day into the boys getting a little too close and trying to be with me the whole time. I was very nervous all day. Thankfully the team I was with kept me close to them and kept me safe. We left the orphanage around 5:00pm and went to a Colombian food resteraunt. It was soooo yummy! Then we headed to Zuetanna for the night.





Day 2 Tuesday
We went to Alcosto in the morning to buy some stuff for the boys, and then headed out to amparro . The boys kept their distance better today! I felt very safe and felt that the Lord was easing some of my nervousness. I am so sad to leave the boys! I will miss them so dearly! Next we headed to lunch. We went to a "fast food" place, but was more like a very nice resteraunt that was a little quicker than the normal place. Then the board members met with some people that granted them permission to visit 5 (i think) other orphanages in Colombia!!! It was such a blessing! They said that we were welcome any time we wanted! Most of the time it is a little difficult for americans to visit orphanages! The Lord was at work!!! We went to Mount Monserate that afternoon! It was sooooo breathtaking! Standing on the top of the mountain I had no clue what I was in for the rest of the week! The Lord was preparing me for a dream that was about to come true. We went to a boys "half way" house that night instead of going to dinner. We quickly realized that they did not have food, refridgerator, or washing machine! We went back to Alcosto and bought them baskets full of stuff! It was all work of the most gracious Lord! The boys and house mother were so happy and grateful that we had come!! It was a very emotional night and one of the highlights of the trip! We told them, "The way we had fed your human hunger is the same way the Lord provides for your spiritual hunger." With the food we give you, you will hunger again, but with the Lord, you will never hunger again. It was so amazing and I think the boys really took to what we were saying!!! God is amazing!!



Day 3 Wednesday
We went to the girl orphanage. The girls were soooo eager to show us around and just love on us and allow us to love on them. We just spent the day loving on them and sharing the Word of the Lord with them. They were soooo happy that we were there, and did not want us to leave that evening. We had to pry some of them out of the vans. It was a sad goodbye but happy knowing that we still had tres mas dias=) with them! We went over to the Ronderres(SP) house and ate dinner! It was so nice of them to allow us to come over. It was a wonderfully yummy meal! I even got to dance with Mr. Ronderres.=) They were so welcoming and just over all sweet people! I had a blast and I could tell that they were happy we were there loving on the girls!



Day 4 Thursday
We went to Exito in the morning to buy stuff for the girls. Then around 10:30 we headed over to the girls orphanage! They were all sooo happy for us to come back! This is the day that changed my life forever! I had met a little girl namd Dee the day before. I just couldnt stop playing, laughing and just loving on her! She was such a sweet girl and I knew that she was going to leave a special imprint on my heart. I asked Antonio(Patricia's husband) what her story was. Her mother had died in November of 2007, and her father was "bad" in the community. It was explained to me later, that he was a gang member, and was an overall "bad" person. They did say that he was good to the girls and wanted them back but it still made me so sad for her. She also had a 13 year old sister named Olla. As soon as I met this precious little girl I knew that they were in my life for a reason. To love on them for just one week! The Lord had given me these girls to show them that even though they have it bad someone can still love and want to take care of them. It brings tears to my eyes just to think about these girls, and know that right now they are all alone in a world that is so cold! They have lost so much and my heart aches for them. They are unadoptable, beacuse of their father, but I pray every day for them! I want them to know more than anything that I love them more than the world!! But more importantly that the Lord loves them and is going to take care of them no matter what happens! I do not know what it feels like to be a mom, but the way i worry, care and love these girls, it is the closest thing to feeling like a mother, that I have encountered thus far. I will always love and care for you dee and olla!!

Day 5 Friday
We went to a boys orphanage that was very nice early this morning! The girls were not expecting us until 1:00. Their house was very nice and they were all so excited that we came and visited! We bought braceletts that they had made themselves! It was very cool to watch them at work. We were all so eager to see the girls but we had to stop by the store and grab hot dog stuff for that evening! We rushed through and bought all we needed except the ice cream. ha ha that in itself is a funny story. We showed up around 12:30 and the faces on the girls everytime we pulled up was priceless! They would run up and give you the biggest hug you had ever had. We played and shared a Bible lesson with them. Our translators wife Dona felt the Lord telling her that she needed to speak this day! So she shared with the girls her testamony and it was heart wrenching! There was not a dry eye in the place. Her story was so close to many of the girls there you could tell that they could easily relate to what she was saying. This day for me, was very difficult knowing that I only had one more day with these beautiful girls! Every time I looked at one of them I wanted to cry. I fell in love with these girls, and knowing that I had to leave them behind and go back to my family, friends, and wonderful home made me feel so guilty! I had to keep in mind the reason I was there and focus on being a Light for these girls. That night we ate hot dogs, chips, and soda! The girls went crazy for them!!!! Colombian hot dogs are much larger than the ones here in the U.S. Dee (my little girl) ate three huge hot dogs, and a bag of chips. She kept going up there for more chips! She is so cute! I do not know where she put it all. They were all just about full when we told them that we were going to have ice cream as well! We bought 16 half gallons of ice cream from Crapes and Waffles! Talk about yummy!! We fed every girl and all fo he team members with three half gallons. We went through all sixteen half gallons, plus carmel, bananas, chocolate sauce, and condensed milk! Dee seriously ate at least one of the half gallons!! She kept saying "no mas, no mas." One girl told Nep "I just cant but it is so good, can i have some more carmel" I bet some of the girls were sick that night!! Talk about being hyped up on sugar!!! This was a sad goodbye, tomorrow would be our last day at Amparro de Ninas. We ate dinner yet again at Patricia and Antonio's house that night! Teresa and myself had a wonderful time! We laughed the entire time! It was so yummy and they were very sweet to invite us into their home.

Day 6 Saturday
I could not sleep last night! I was so eager to get back to the girls and spend as much time with them as i could!! We went to breakfast at Patricia and Antonio's again! It was soo good. Then we headed off for the girls!! I was already crying when I talked to Antonio at his house about Dee and Olla. I made him promise me if those girls ever became adoptable, that he would e-mail, or call me ASAP!!!!!! That means my wonderful parents would adopt them=))))) The girls were in the tv room watching music video's and i spotted my darling Dee!! She ran up to me and gave me the biggest bear hug ever!!! All the girls swarmed and I started bawling yet again! They just wanted love. It broke my heart that in just a few short days, i could fall in love with all these girls, and i knew that they felt the same! My passion for adoption grew so much this trip. If I could have adopted while I was there I would already have all ten of my children!! (maybe even more) The girls showed us their dormitory, they had one bed with a locker with practiclly nothing in it! That broke my heart and reminded me of the story my dad told when he returned from picking up my sister anna! He asked he director "What stuff of hers do I need to get?" She replied "She has nothing." Looking into these girls locker, I realized they had nothing! One pair of shoes, and stuff that we had given them! I feel so blessed to have everything I have! I cannot express how changed I am from this trip! We played with the girls and passed out candy all day long! They put together little skits and dances for us to watch!! It was soooo cute! They were so proud of what they knew. We suprised them with a Birthday party for everyone! We had cake and Barbies for each of the girls. They loved it! We danced for quite a while. Some of the older girls tried to teach me Salsa, lets just say I dont move that way! They laughed so much at my dancing!! Gosh I miss those girls!! It was finally time to leave and the moaning I heard will haunt me forever! Every girl there was crying! I knew I had to say goodbye to girls that I will remember forever!! Especially Dee and Olla! I held Dee until the moment I was in the van. Olga kept saying "Yo Quiero mucho mucho mucho" which means I love you much much much!! I cried so hard and I can honestly say letting go of those little girls, crying in the parking lot, was the hardest thing I have ever done!! I left a little piece of my heart with those two girls!!! I wil miss and pray for them everyday!! Every girl there has a special place in my heart!

Colombia changed my life forever! I know know the purpose of my life, to help orphans!! I hope that those girls know that I will love them forever! Even though I cannot adopt right now, I am praying and thinking of them everyday! God has blessed me so much and i am only so lucky to hopefully be able to help a few orphans out! James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our Lord... is to help orphans." God calls each and every believer to help those who cannot help themself. Even if its not adoption, prayer, financial support, something!

Sorry it is so long! There is so much I left out, but this is all I can think of right now!! Sorry for misspelling and gramatical errors=))


I love and miss you bigger than the world Dee and Olla, and all my other beautiful girls at the girls orphanage.!!! I will hopefully return very soon!!!